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brendala
OK, the actual title is Scooby Dude. But everybody knows it as “The Drug Episode”. I’m sure most of you are already aware that every show produced in the late 80s/early 90s was legally obligated to make a “very special” drug episode even if that particular subject matter was completely out of place. Typically, said drug episodes would fail because their unintentional hilarity would drown out any legitimate anti-drug message. Pup’s drug episode was one of them.
And no, the unintentional hilarity does not come from the popular perception that Shaggy is a stoner (though that does play a part). Believe it or not, it gets even weirder than that…
Our episode begins at the beach. Fred, Daphne, and Velma ride in on their bikes while Shaggy and Scooby roll in riding a freakin’ sweet mini-motorcycle!!
…and then they crash it. :P
The kids are there to see Velma’s aunt Thelma (seems like the Dinkleys aren’t very creative when it comes to names). Aunt Thelma works at the Coolsville Marine Institute. And she called the kids because her dolphins have been disappearing. That’s right; the cops and animal control officers in this town are so inept that poor Aunt Thelma needs to rely on children to find her missing animals. It sucks to be her.
Daphne and Velma are trying to do their jobs; but the boys aren’t making it easy. Fred already wants to split up and Shaggy and Scooby just wanna fart around the beach in their Hawaii 5-O costumes.
While this is going on, a seaweed monster attacks! But it turns out to be Red Herring is disguise. He just felt like following the kids to the beach and screwing with them.
Lucky for the kids, Red scuttles off once Aunt Thelma arrives to provide exposition.
And hugs!
She says that she’s not sure whether her dolphins were stolen or just scared off by the monster. Prompting Shaggy to freak and ask Velma why she didn’t say anything about a monster.
Velma replies by saying “You didn’t ask” in her sweetest, most innocent-sounding voice. Sneaky little devil, ain’t she?
OFF TO THE MARINA:
Aunt Thelma takes them to the dolphin tank to meet Skipper (the one remaining dolphin in the marina).
But just as she does, the monster appears! In keeping with this episode’s drug theme, the monster looks like Ichabod Crane after smoking a bag of weed. At least I think that’s what the character designer was shooting for.
He chases them around screaming “dude” in a generic California Surfer accent. Silly chase gag ensues
Do you think Shaggy inspired Ariel’s purple seashell ensemble?
The gang and Aunt Thelma escape the ghost but, sadly, Skipper the Dolphin isn’t so lucky. Aunt Thelma is distraught about losing her
The first clue is a trail of food. But the trail is a false lead planted by Red Herring in order to scare the crap out of the kids again. Red may be a mean spirited little bastard; but I have to give him credit. Using food to get Shaggy to follow the clues with the same enthusiasm as the others was pretty clever. Well played, Red Herring. Well played.
However, Red quickly reverts back to dumbass by insulting the appearance of the beach patrol lady who stepped in to tell him to knock it off. Lucky for our heroes, this keeps Red off their asses for a while
Velma notices scuba gear in the beach patrol lady’s car. This prompts Fred to immediately suspect her and give her the third degree. The patrol lady is in a bad mood, so she yells at Fred and tells him that it’s not suspicious for someone who works at a beach to keep scuba equipment.
After that lead fizzles out, a new one walks in. Enter “Gnarly Charlie” the Christian Surfer Dude!
He says he’s glad the monster screwed over the marine institute because no marine institute means no more tourists coming to see the dolphins and cluttering up the beach.
Shaggy and Fred note that Gnarly Charley sounds a lot like the monster (same dopey Surfer accent) and has a good motive for scaring the dolphins away. Daphne notes that Charlie is really cute and, therefore, can’t be a villain (glad you have your priorities straight, honey)
Hellloooo Nurse!
The gang wonders where a skateboarding monster would hide and Velma suggests the skateboard park.
By the way, I know you’re all anxious to get to the drug scenes. Don’t worry; they’re coming. ~_^
CUT TO AL’S SKATEBOARD-O-RAMA
The gang meets up with Al (the owner of the skate park) to question him
Al says he doesn’t even know how to ride skateboards, he just rents them out because they’re popular. But he gives the kids free reign to search the park for clues. And guess who shows up before Velma even has a chance to say “Jinkies”?
Luckily, the power of Velma’s deus ex briefcase buys them enough time to outfit themselves with safety gear and get the hell out of there
Freddie decides that they’ll return to the skate park later that night. Because we all know that monsters are less likely to attack you when it’s dark and spooky out! Surprisingly, Scooby and Shaggy don’t put up much of a fight when it comes to breaking into the skate park to investigate a spooky storage shack in the middle of the night. Go fig.
Daphne is repulsed by all the dirt and dust in the shack, so she vacuums it up herself! You normally don’t see Daphne get her hands dirty like this. I guess her butler called in sick that night or something.
After the shack is cleaned up, they find tons of skateboard trophies that all belong to someone named “Fast Track Al”. Velma opens up her computer and verifies that it’s the same Al who owns the skate park (I guess Velma’s computer has internet and Wi-Fi capability, too!).
The article says that Al used to be an international skateboard champ. But he lost it all when he got involved in....**dramatic!gasp*........DRUGS!!!!!!
This reveal prompts Scooby to respond with his catchphrase for this episode: “Drugs!? Yuck! Patooey!”
I dunno about the rest of you; but I suspect Scooby’s hatred of stoners will soften around the time Shaggy hits his teens. ~_^
Velma goes on to lecture her friends about how drugs can mess a person up and even KILL THEM!!OMG!!!
I can’t see why she bothered since she was clearly preaching to the choir. Furthermore, I suspect that she will also have a change of heart regarding stoners when Shaggy gets older and her hormones kick in.
And, God willing, those hormones won’t turn her into this creature **shudder**
“Hey Shaggy! Y’know what’ll take your mind off the fact that your dog is probably being butt-raped in prison right now? Sex with me!”
Anyhoo, the kids angrily run to the main house to confront the AL THE EVIL LYING BASTARD DRUG USER!! Seriously, these kids are acting really pissed! Judging by their reaction, you’d think Al had cannibalized an entire orphanage while on a PCP bender or something!
Al cops to lying to the kids about being able to skateboard. He tells them that he lied because he was ashamed that he let his drug habit destroy his career, ruin his life, and land him in prison. He even sheds some manly tears.
Al says that he wanted the skate park to be his fresh start. And now he’s afraid the monster will destroy his business and drive him back into the loving arms of Sweet Lady Cocaine.
....yeah, I know. It doesn’t make much sense for someone who wanted to forget about skateboarding to buy a park dedicated to it. But the dude was probably high when he did it, so let’s cut him some slack.
The kids feel sorry for Al after hearing his sob story and promise to stop the monster from driving away his customers, free of charge.
Enter Red again. The beach patrol lady STILL won’t leave him alone now she’s trying to haul him in as a suspect in the dolphin-nappings. Red doesn’t want to get blamed for a crime he didn’t commit (you’d think he’d be used to it by now) so he begs The Scooby Doo Detective Agency to help clear his name.
Fred initially refuses. But Red manages to trick Freddie into saying yes by offering to pay the gang half price for their services.
Daphne, being the spawn of savvy millionaire businesspeople, is not happy about this.
But she doesn’t have time to sulk because Velma has formed a plan.
Cut to the next morning
Scuba time!
The kids go looking for clues underwater. Red shows up and scolds them for goofing off while he’s paying them to work. Daphne responds by telling him to go screw himself and let them do their jobs (God, I love her!).
They blow past Red and make it to a spooky underwater cave. And guess who they meet there....
Cue the chase song! The chase music in this episode sounds vaguely like “Under the Sea” to me and I can’t help wondering if that was intentional or just a big coincidence (Season one of Pup aired in 1989-1990, so it’s possible that this episode was produced before The Little Mermaid hit theatres).
The kids evade the skateboard monster by swimming into one of the caves. And the cave they swim into just happens to be the hiding place for the missing dolphins!
Awwwww
Turns out that the dolphin-napper used machines to control the dolphins
“Why would somebody want to control the dolphins?”, you ask? Well, sit down; this is where the episode gets good.
The kids open up the pouches on the dolphins’ backs to see what the criminal was smuggling. Turns out the crook was using them to smuggle.......DRUGS!!!
Brown, mushy, amorphous drugs!
That’s right, friends. This episode’s shocking twist is drug dealing dolphins!
DRUG! DEALING! DOLPHINS!
This is officially one of the best drug specials EVER. It doesn’t beat the unholy trippyness of Cartoon All Stars or the sheer What-The-Fuckery of the blood-soaked Captain Planet drug episode. But it’s close. Drug Dealing Dolphins. Go on, say it out loud! IT’S FUN! XD
*ahem*
Anyway, the kids find a staircase leading up to the surface and Velma announces that she has a plan.
Cut to the skate park:
Al and Gnarly Charlie are chilling out at the front desk. And the kids make a big show of announcing to both of them that they’re closing in on the monster and they just need another peek at Al’s shed.
And the ghost takes the bait…
….but the kids are ready for him.
Velma finds out how the “ghost” made the pumpkin head talk
And now it’s time for the suspect rundown! Is the crook…
A ) Sandy Sneakers (aka Beach Patrol Lady): the kids suspect her because tire tracks from a jeep were near every crime scene
Or is it...
B ) Gnarly Charlie: The guy who practically screamed his motive from the rooftops at the beginning of the episode
Or is it...
C ) Red Herring
Velma is a much better artist than Freddie
Red pops in to remind Freddie that he’s paying them to prove he’s innocent. So Freddie ends up dropping it and moving on
After the obligatory accusation of Red Herring is out of the way, Velma reveals the final suspect and the identity of the ghost…
It’s Junkie Al, the skateboard park owner!! Turns out he was lying when he spouted all that “I changed my ways after I got out of prison” bullcrap. He’s still part of a drug smuggling gang; and the drug dealing dolphins **giggle** were just his latest method for getting said drugs from point A to point B. He used to monster costume to scare away the tourists so they wouldn’t see the dolphins (and the drug caddies on their backs). And he lied about not being able to skateboard to keep people from suspecting him.
So it looks like the case is closed. But this episode has another curveball up it’s sleeve: Al isn’t the only culprit. The Beach Patrol Lady was his accomplice. She was hellbent on catching Red not just because he called her ugly; but also because she wanted to frame the little twerp and make everyone think he was the monster.
And Gnarly Charlie is actually an undercover FBI agent who was sent to find out the identities of drug smugglers (he must really suck at his job if a couple of kids and their dog beat him to it).
BACK TO THE MARINA:
Aunt Thelma praises Velma for saving her job, causing our favorite little brainiac to blush
d’awwwww
Freddie tells Red that it’s time to pay up. But Red says, since they were working on another case when they cleared him, he owes them diddly squat.
You really should have seen this coming, Fred
Scooby maturely handles this by tripping Red and knocking him into the dolphin tank
I can’t bring myself to laugh at this because it reminds me of the dolphin rape episode of King of the Hill. >_<
And everyone enjoys a good laugh. Even Aunt Thelma; who really should be acting like an adult and pulling Red out before he gets hurt and his parents sue her marina into bankruptcy.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Here’s the apparent moral of the episode: Once you take a whiff of pot, you are forever corrupted. You cannot be redeemed nor do you have any hope of recovering and making something of your life once you kick the habit. And if you end up in jail, you’re double screwed. You will end up tying bags of weed to the backs of adorable animals and using them to smuggle your filthy, disgusting drugs to your filthy, disgusting junkie friends! You might as well just kill yourself.
Jinkies! Isn't that a great message for kids?
