COMIC: Why I stopped caring about the Kingdom Hearts series...

[brendala]

Well, I recently found out that yet ANOTHER Kingdom Hearts game with a ridiculously stupid subtitle (Birth by Sleep) just came out on the PSP. I'm still a bit peeved at this series for having the potential to be awesome beyond belief and then screwing it up in the sequels by adding in a bunch of boring original characters with convoluted, angsty back-stories.
So I decided to vent my frustration in comic form. Enjoy:



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NEWSFLASH SQUARE-ENIX: No one bought the first Kingdom Hearts game expecting (or wanting) deep characters or complex plots. We just wanted to watch Cloud Strife beat up Jafar and see Donald Duck kick Maleficent's ass. That's all! So stop throwing a dozen new whiny bishonen into every Kingdom Hearts game! If I wanted more of those, I'd pick up one of the Final Fantasy titles.

P.S. Tell Nomura to cool it with the belts and zippers. It's getting f&*$%ing ridiculous!

Comments

[ichiban-victory.livejournal.com]

To be honest, I always thought mixing Square characters with Disney characters was just too bizarre a game concept. I of course was always curious about the games, but I didn't have a PS2, and I wasn't willing to buy a PS2 in order to try the games. (And I'm with you. When I saw the Nintendo game that was card battle-based, I had absolutely no interest in the game at all!)

I miss the glory days of Disney video games, where the Disney characters supported the game by themselves! Back when Capcom was at the helm... Seriously, if you've never played any of the Mickey's Mystical Quest games (or any of the Mickey games in general), you really ought to! They were always a lot of fun. Solid platformers.

On that note, I think Epic Mickey is a step back in the right direction. I will gladly buy a game that has Disney characters, and only Disney characters (or characters inspired by existing Disney characters, as in Epic Mickey). Square can keep it's annoying Final Fantasy characters for its Final Fantasy games, which I gladly ignore.

[brendala.livejournal.com]

The first game is actually pretty fun. The story is silly; but it's really thrilling to play through all the Disney worlds and be able to use characters like Tinkerbell and Genie as Summons. And setting up your party so that Goofy teams up with Ariel to beat up Ursula is a neat trip!

*sigh* Mickey's Mystical Quest. I LOVED that game when I was little. My personal favorite Capcom Disney game is Aladdin (even if the final boss is nigh impossible to beat without cheat codes).

[ichiban-victory.livejournal.com]

If I played any of them, I think it would be the first. A roommate showed me one of the newer ones, and you spend over an hour just running around doing...homework? The heck?! No!

Wait, what? Cheat codes? To beat Jafar? Heck no, you just need to find the game's weakness and beat it soundly! When he's just zooming down at you from the air, just wait until he's at his lowest point, then jump at him. Even better, sometimes if you get trapped between him and the wall when he's coming back up, if you time it just right you can get in an extra hit by bouncing off him the first time and bouncing upward (into the wall), which then makes you land on his head again. This is kind of tricky though. When he's a snake, if you can again get between him and the wall, you can actually get quite a few hits on him before you land on the ground again.

...yeah, I played that game a lot back in the day! I loved that game!

[brendala.livejournal.com]

Homework!? Oh God, no! Kids play video games to ESCAPE that stuff! O_o

I think you may be remembering the Nintendo version of Aladdin. I own the Genesis version and Jafar never turns into a snake in that one. He looks normal and he shoots fire so much that the player has a VERY narrow opportunity to hit him (and if you run out of apples, you're screwed!

[ichiban-victory.livejournal.com]

I know, right? She had to keep running around a large area to find research for a paper or something.. It just seemed really dull. I'm not against a game starting off slowly before kicking into high gear (I like a tutorial as well as the next person), but when it drags on for hours before getting into the real plot, I'd rather play something else.

You messed me up! Capcom didn't make the Genesis version, Virgin did. XP (I did always feel cheated the Capcom version lacked Aladdin wielding more than apples as a weapon, but the game was still a very solid platformer. And Abu was and still is one of my favorite atmospheric elements in a game! He doesn't actually do anything to help the player, yet seeing him running alongside Aladdin, leaping up into windows and such, it made the game that much more fun!)

[the-flowergirl.livejournal.com]

OK, I actually liked KH2, but I will agree that the belts are a little ridiculous.

[dqbunny.livejournal.com]

*laugh* And here is a good reason why I got lucky I haven't played KH yet - but I want to! Just need to get an old PS2 first.

[brendala.livejournal.com]

The first game is fine; so I recommend checking it out if you get a PS2. The first game kept the story simple so you could just enjoy the trippyness of, say, watching Goofy beat the crap out of Captain Hook.

Subsequent games are only worth your time if you're into bishonen who seem to be custom made to drive yaoi fangirls wild. Kingdom Hearts 2 has it's moments (the Nightmare Before Christmas world rocked), but I had to ignore the story in order to enjoy it.

[ladyxmoonlight.livejournal.com]

I was never a FF fan so I never played KH but it always intriuged me. I do see why the sequels lost their appeal though, throwing random new characters in. lol

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

Here's my comment on this : http://secondlina.livejournal.com/159249.html

[noseless-wonder.livejournal.com]

Oh yes!! Sorry, you don't know me very well, but I had to click on the link provided by SecondLina. This comic represents everything wrong I found with the series as well. XD I loved it soooo much in the beginning too - and the sequel, from the trailer, looked so awesome in the beginning too.

Great comic.

[brendala.livejournal.com]

No need to apologize. I've seen you around and you seem like a cool dude (dudette?). ^_~


Glad to see I'm not the only one who felt this way. I REALLY wanted to love the second game. But I just couldn't get past the convoluted story and all those annoying original characters (who seemed to only exist to provide yaoi fangirl bait). And, according to what I've read, the most recent games just feature Roxas&pals and have virtually no Disney or Final Fantasy cameos (which was the entire freakin' point of Kingdom Hearts to begin with!!)! Oy. -_-

[ichiban-victory.livejournal.com]

That dude is a lady - who happens to adore Gourry. XD

[brendala.livejournal.com]

GAH! Sorry Noseless_Wonder! Those gender neutral LJ handles confuse me sometimes!

[lunaoh.livejournal.com]

Oh Square-Enix, how much have you fallen... I have to admit though, I kind of want to play the first game now. You make it sound kick-ass.

Great comic as always, too. =D

[brendala.livejournal.com]

The first game is pretty cool. It's been a few years since I've picked it up; but I remember enjoying it a lot. If you can find a cheap used copy, I'd recommend buying it if you're a big fan of Disney and Final Fantasy.

*Warning some-what spoilery below.*

[bonemarch.livejournal.com]

It's almost sad how accurate your comic is, I think I got to the end boss where they make you play as the white haired guy but because they pretty much threw in into playing a character that I hadn't touched through out the entire game vs what I think is the last boss I pasted... So I got frustrated and hadn't played it since. Though I did like the big battle cut scene.

Re: *Warning some-what spoilery below.*

[brendala.livejournal.com]

My sister and I (we shared the game) had to take turns leveling up Riku (aka "the white haired guy") because we also never put him in the party before the final battle and he was too weak to stand up to the final boss. It drove us crazy because, just like in my comic, we spent a long time preparing Donald and Goofy for a difficult final battle only to have them ripped away from us at the last minute and replaced with that whiny brat, Riku. -_-