REVIEW: "The Truth" aka one of the worst comics ever! (part two)

[brendala]

Here's part two of my comprehensive review of "The Truth". In this installment, we meet our protagonist and our villain(s). You thought the last few pages were preachy and ridiculous? You ain't seen nothing yet!

And I'm sorry to tell you that these pages had no funny new racial slurs. So no drinking game this time. But you may want to keep something handy just to take the edge off. I used chocolate ice cream.

Onto the review:




Check the crazy slang, yo!
At least little Freeman has found himself a somewhat sane girlfriend. Too bad she has bad taste in both fashion and nicknames. And I loved the joke in the last panel. It's funny because Rodney King was viciously beaten and the ensuing riots caused countless injuries and property damage. Oh wait, no it's not funny. My grandfather's business was destroyed and all of his employees lost their jobs because of that riot. FU#K YOU, COMIC!!


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And here we find out that all this racism and segregation is fueled by greedy capitalist pig businessmen. What a surprise, huh? And geez, "Hate Crusaders"? Really!? That name is so ridiculous I bet Captain Planet would reject it!
Oh, and apparently Europe still exists in this world. I can't help wondering if they've turned to mass segregation as well.




Oh God! The preachyness, it burns!!
Arg! The morons who wrote this comic obviously have no idea how Capitalism works! How the hell does making people so racist that they need to designate entire states as "White Only", "Black Only", etc just to keep the peace help them make money?
And they want to "create a moderate amount of racial tension to divert scrutiny from unscrupulous business and political dealings"? MODERATE!? The country is more segregated here than it was in 1930! This comic makes no sense!







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WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!? Who are these people? Are they in Israel (the background kinda looks like Israel)? Why do their clothes glow? Why are their names so weird? Why does nothing they say make sense? Why is the "crazy ass White boy" talking in bad, outdated, mildly offensive jive talk? Why does this comic hate me!?




"Those In Power". You'd think the omnipotent evil organization controlling the world could come up with a better clubhouse name than THAT!

By the way, since the first dialogue square came out blurry, I'll type the text of it here for you:
"Those B4[sic] begin an age-old ceremony with a chant so ancient it's untranslatable into any of today's languages"
Hmmm, judging by the way the "crazy ass White Boy" in the neon robe was talking in the last page, I imagine their ancient chant sounded something like this...

All four of the segregation leaders were working together? *GASP* What a twist! 

Okay guys, before you move on to the next page, please put down any food you might be eating and finish any beverage you might be drinking. The next big reveal is a doozy. And I don't want any of you to ruin your monitors with spit takes.
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..........you done? Alright, let's proceed:




Oh God! It's a racist Megazord! A Megazord made of plants and rock and parts of an old Man-E-Faces figurine! THIS is the comic's Big Bad!? Seriously!? 

*sigh* Sadly, the humor in this comic is short lived. The next page can only be described as infuriating. You thought it was offensive when part one treated "Asians" and "The Indigenous" like monolithic, Borg-like groups? It gets worse. MUCH worse....




FU%K! THIS! COMIC!!

I don't even know where to start! I can't believe this thing is saying that racism didn't exist until my country's forefathers hired a racist plant demon to create it! As a Patriotic American who knows her history, this really pisses me off! Don't get me wrong; I'm under no illusion that men like George Washington were flawless saints and that America has always been right about everything. But this belief that every bad thing in the world is the USA's fault somehow seriously gets under my skin. 

And honestly, if the Pilgrims who fled Europe for America back in the day were only interested in "protecting and increasing the power and fortunes of those indivuals with power and fortunes" they would have stayed in England! Back then England was a superpower and Europe was full of lazy monarchs who only cared about their "power and fortunes". So why didn't Toxen take control of England's leaders instead of going after a country that was made up of mostly piss-ant peasant militias? Oh I know why, it's because the people who wrote this thing know jack crap about History and how racism works!

"By 1901 Racism had become an American institution"'
Yeah, because the USA is the only country to EVER experience racial tension and racism. Good God, I hate this comic!!

**takes a breath**
As much as this page ticked me off, I must admit that the last panel amused me. Apparently, Toxen the Racist Megazord was lulled out of seclusion because people of all colors started drinking coffee together in 2004! The voting rights act didn't do it. The Loving vs Virgina case (and all the interracial marriages that occurred since then) didn't do it. The integration of public schools didn't do it. Nope. It was all because of the coffee. Damn Starbucks! They released Toxen the Racist Megazord and caused the whole country get segregated!




I sure picked a pleasant picture to end part two on, didn't I?

Stay tuned for part three! In it, we find out what the men in sparkly robes have planned (and what those plans have to do with our pal Freeman). Trust me. You don't want to miss it!

Comments

[ichiban-victory.livejournal.com]

You know, I like to watch Glenn Beck because I like knowing more on what's really going on in our country. I don't always agree with him, but after seeing this stuff it really does reek of the progressives and anti-capitalists he keeps warning about. It's amazing how quickly our country's history can be twisted and corrupted because no one can be bothered to discover the true history!

But yeah, it bothers me how the U.S. gets targeted as THE CAUSE OF SLAVERY when slavery has been used throughout the entire world for as long as humans have existed. We didn't invent it! And we're also not the last to use it! There are still other countries that make use of slaves (some even come into the U.S. and do it on the sly, that really burns me up!), but everyone's too busy pointing fingers at the U.S. to notice!

This thing needs to...actually, I'd probably save it to show my children just how messed up some people were at this point in time. I sure hope we're not going to get worse.

[brendala.livejournal.com]

Those Founders Fridays shows are fascinating, aren't they?
The stock "Evil Businessman" villains wouldn't bother me as much if they weren't so laughably one-dimensional and illogical. I can't take anyone who criticizes capitalism seriously if it's painfully obvious that they have no idea how it works.

And I'm not sure if the people who wrote this were simply ignorant of history or if they knew all that stuff but chose to ignore it to fit their "The USA is to blame for EVERYTHING" script. It's depressing either way.


This thing needs to...actually, I'd probably save it to show my children just how messed up some people were at this point in time. I sure hope we're not going to get worse.

According to the cover page, this comic was published in 1999. I suppose the people who wrote this thing just had a really bleak opinion of what the future would be like. -_-

[hannahsarah.livejournal.com]

What is this, I don't even...

I think I'm offended, but I'm not sure exactly what just happened here. I'm so confused!

Hold me?

[brendala.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
It's okay, honey. I'm here for you.

Sorry to sick this awful comic on you. But no one ever believes me when I tell them about this thing. So I felt compelled to do this review.

[brendala.livejournal.com]

BTW, did you catch the review of part one? That one at least comes with a therapeutic drinking game. ~_^

[hannahsarah.livejournal.com]

I went back, and was glad that I'm not drinking right now. I really picked a good week to go on a detox! A person could die of alcohol poisoning trying to get through that.

I do think that there should be a second drinking game for all of the jive talking and Fat Albert slang. Word.

[brendala.livejournal.com]

I actually can't drink alcohol. So I use sugary drinks or some other (un)healthy alternative as a substitute for booze.

D'oh! I can't believe I didn't think to make a drinking game for the wacky jive slang. Thanks for catching that for me.

[hannahsarah.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, can you substitute kava kava or yerba mate tea? That could be interesting!

[brendala.livejournal.com]

I've never tried either of those things before. Are they any good?

In case you're wondering, I don't avoid alcohol for moral or religious reasons. I can't drink it because it hates my body (even a small amount feels like battery acid going down and makes me violently sick).

[hannahsarah.livejournal.com]

When you said "can't", I figured it was because you had an alcohol allergy or something serious like that. I knew a Chinese girl who would get absolutely plastered on one teaspoon of vodka. She said that it's extremely common in her family, they got the alcohol allergy gene.

[brendala.livejournal.com]

My mother has the same problem with alcohol that I do. So I guess we carry that gene. My sisters might have it; but I'm not sure because they've never bothered trying to drink in the first place.

The funny thing about not being able to drink is that my father's family is full of Irish Catholics who use every family event as an excuse to get plastered. They threw 21st birthday parties for me and my younger sister even though neither of us drink just because it gave them an excuse to do it. -_-

[hannahsarah.livejournal.com]

What's really bugging me, is that I'm not sure what it is they're for or against!

It's like some bizarre mix of PCness, pop psychology, assorted Left and Right blogs and some really third rate illustration - thrown in a blender and then retranslated into a Chick Tract.

[brendala.livejournal.com]

Now that you mention it, this comic reads like a conservative satire of how liberals think about race! And now I can't help wondering if this book is just an elaborate joke by a right wing dude with too much time on his hands and too little artistic talent. :P