REVIEW: "The Truth" aka one of the worst comics ever! (part one)

[brendala]

I'd love to send this puppy to Linkara one day (his review would be WAY better than mine), but I don't know if I could bring myself to part with it. There is little information about it out there. And the only way I could get another copy is to pay $18 for it here (I paid $1 for the copy I have now. That's all this thing is worth). So for now I'll have to settle for reviewing it myself.

Anyway, I must warn you all...this comic's awfulness is hard to describe. If I had to try, I'd say it's like Captain Planet had a lovechild with the movie Crash. And that lovechild was so preachy that even Captain Planet and Crash couldn't stand to be around it!
So, since I'm obviously not a master reviewer, I'll scan this whole thing and add some colorful commentary between pages. Hopefully you will all get a good laugh out of this just like I did.

WARNING: In addition to the bad story and art, this comic has a lot of racist language. In fact, it uses many bizarre racial slurs that I never knew existed. Just wanted to put that out there in case anyone is sensitive to that kind of thing.

Let the review begin:

We'll start with the cover...

Gee whiz, that cover sure is exciting, isn't it!?




This is the back cover. I've included it to show that this comic came with a CD full of unbelievably horrible music inspired by "The Truth" (I'll review said CD when the book review is done).




Here is the cover page. Apparently, Jesus Christ had a hand in this thing. His father must be very disappointed in him.




The mention of the "kike run government and media" becomes problematic later on (and not just because of the k-word). You'll see why soon.
And speaking of offensive racial slurs, there is a fun drinking game you can play with this book. Take a swig every time the comic makes up a weird, horrible, and/or funny new way to insult a particular ethnic group! You'll be blitzed before you know it. And if you're like me and cannot drink alcohol, just substitute your favorite sugary drink. You'll be bouncing off the walls in no time!




So there you have it. In "The Truth's" universe, the USA is divided into separate sections and each section is inhabited by a particular ethnic group. For whatever reason, the White folks got Missouri (I assume they got Nebraska, too).
Oh, and according to the writers of this thing, being against Affirmative Action and wishing rap music would be less vulgar puts me in the same league as racist, neo-Nazi, white power nuts. FU#K YOU, COMIC!!

Oh, and did you catch the two slurs in the last panel? You know what that means! *swig swig*




Okay, prepare yourself. You're about to witness the most hilarious (fictional) political party ever!
By the way, I'm not sure if all the uses of "heathen", "demon spawn", "barbarian", and "savage" count toward the drinking game. But I'm thirsty so... *swig swig swig swig*




The Asian Persuasion Coalition. The Asian. Persuasion. Coalition! BWA HA HA HA!! Oh dear God, did Johnny Cochran name this group? And check out that angry speech! I guess those Racebending protesters were never the same after M. Night Shyamalan ruined The Last Airbender. **cue rimshot**
Boy these Asians sure are pissed about being treated like "model minorities". If Dr Wong wants to convince White people like me that not all Asians are super-duper smart; giving his political party such a stupid name and getting lots of his fellow Asians to go along with it is a good way to start!

Okay guys, I'm going to be serious for a moment and point out the first major thing this comic got wrong..."Asians" are not a monolithic group. "Asian" is just a catch-all term for a bunch of different ethnic groups. And not all of them get along with one another (just ask China and Tibet). So the idea that they'd all band together against Whitey, "the Negroes", and "The Indigenous" to take over California, Hawaii, and Washington (wait, Washington? WTF!?) is ridiculous to anyone who has ever read a World History Book.




And here's the beginning of a speech by a political party that is just as crazy as the last one (but, sadly, it's name isn't nearly as funny). Oh, and "Huehueteotl" totally counts for the drinking game *swig*!




Wow. EVERYONE wants to take California! I guess my home state is pretty awesome!
Also, just like all the Chinese, Japanese, Filipinos, etc in this messed up comic merged into one pissed off Asian Voltron super-race; all of the Native Americans and South Americans have apparently merged into one big "Indigenous Race".

Oh, and did y'all take a drink when you saw "Dark Demon" and "Buffalo Soldier"? I did! *swig swig*




The first box was cut off, so I'll put the text here:
If I hear "We Shall Overcome" one more time I'm going to regurgitate my edibles
Lovely, isn't it?




"Reeks of toxic waste"? The first page of this comic said that the unfortunate father and son shown above are from Tennessee. Is Tennessee really that bad!?




Holy crap! My local news won't show gory scenes like that! I guess the FCC went away after the country was segregated! O_o
And the way segregation works in this comic doesn't make sense. If each ethnic group gets it's own little piece of the country, how did the Koreans manage to open liquor stores on every street in the "African Decent Only Zone"? Did the psychotic Asian Persuasion leader kill the Black owners and replace them with his own people!? That would at least explain why everyone in the "ADOZ" hates them so much.

Speaking of the Koreans, check the slur in the second-to-last panel! *swig*




So "New Africa" is made up of what used to be Arkansas, Georgia, and Tennessee? I wonder if Arkansas and Georgia are as messed up and full of rape and toxic waste as Tennessee is.
At least Reverend Stupidname has ambition. He's not just trying to snag California for his people, he's gunning for the whole damn country! 


That's it for the scans in this post. And I hope you've enjoyed mocking this thing as much as I have. You may be wondering where the Jews, Arabs, and mixed-race people live in "The Truth's" crazy, segregated world. Well [MINOR SPOILER] the comic never tells us. I'm serious. The only time Jews are even mentioned is in that opening blurb about the "kike run media and government"! Since the comic never tells us what happened to them; I like to assume that when the Black, White, Asian, and Indigenous people went bonkers, the Jews and Arabs finally overcame their long-held grudge and fled to Canada together with the mixed-race folks.
Then again, this comic acts as if the USA is the only country that matters (exists?). So maybe Canada is gone and the Jews, Arabs, and mixed people disappeared with it.
......fu*k this comic.


And that's the end of part one! Don't worry, more is coming soon. And sorry about the lousy picture quality. I couldn't put this in the scanner without messing up the book's spine, so I had to take pictures of the pages with my digital camera instead.

Comments

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Gah. THIS HURTS. The art, the story...PAINNNNNN.

[brendala.livejournal.com]

And it only gets worse from here, my friend.

By the way, in the event that America ever goes nuts like it did in the comic, can I crash at your place after I make my way past the Canadian border? ~_^

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. Jeez. *is disgusted*

[the-flowergirl.livejournal.com]

OMG, what is this, I don't even.



You should send it to Linkara. I'd love to see him review it.

[ichiban-victory.livejournal.com]

Wow, stuff like this actually exists? Are they trying to encourage segregation, or horrify us into realizing that if racism doesn't stop we'll end up this way?

Hmm... Washington overrun by the nondescript 'Asian' race. (Really, that encompasses far too many races, and as you mentioned, most do not get along!) We actually do have a large Asian population up here, but we also have a lot of Native Americans and Caucasians as well. What happened to the two other groups? I'm not living in the Midwest! Besides, unlike in some areas of the U.S., different races tend to get along fairly well here...

It's true, the truth does hurt! My eyes...

[brendala.livejournal.com]

Judging by the way the comic ends, I'm guessing the latter. But the comic does a very poor job of getting the "racism is bad, mmmkay" message across.

Yeah, the separatist attitudes in this comic are confusing. I can see Native American and Hispanic groups demanding the southwest for themselves (because groups like that exist now). And I know there are some Asian and Native Hawaiian groups out there who want to take back Hawaii. But all the other stuff makes no sense.


I'm not living in the Midwest!

And I seriously doubt LDS folks will be welcome in Neo-Nazi White Power Land. So it looks like you'll have to run to Canada with me. XD

[ichiban-victory.livejournal.com]

Asians really shouldn't have any claim over Hawaii since they're not native to the land, but whatever. People are weird. We're worse off living apart than living together, since at least together we can learn to overcome our differences.

Oh goodness, no, the LDS church would not tolerate Neo-Nazis at all. We are made up of all people, so that would be a major slap in the face. If it came down to fleeing or fighting, I think I'd rather stay and fight. Not that there's anything wrong with Canada, but if we fled, it would only be a matter of time before it followed. ^_-;;

[brendala.livejournal.com]

Good point. Luckily, I don't think real life will ever be as ridiculous as this comic. So don't start packing your bags yet. ~_^

[ichiban-victory.livejournal.com]

Heh heh, no need. I only live a few hours away from the border anyway. If it comes down to it, I'll just pick up and leave. ^_-

[dqbunny.livejournal.com]

Welcome to my childhood. -_- Yes, this seems to describe some of the attitudes held in states like Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, etc.

[brendala.livejournal.com]

In what way?

[dqbunny.livejournal.com]

The Klan, for example, is still pretty active in parts of the Deep South. Had some issues with them a few years back.

There is a sense of self-entitlement among some that the current generation has to pay for the sins of their fathers, even though it happened a hundred years or more before we were born.

There is also a distrust of other cultures in the area. One woman I thought highly of lost my respect when she told me how much she hated "Japs." There was a huge outcry when a car dealership in Birmingham when I was a teenager attempted to put up a bilingual sign.

[brendala.livejournal.com]

Ouch. I didn't realize that stuff still went on there (my only experience in the South was the two months I lived in Austin, Texas).

The belief that people living today should have to pay for the sins of ancestors they never even met bothers me, too. I never understood that mentality.

[dqbunny.livejournal.com]

When I was a sophomore in college, I was assigned to a dorm with three other black girls. They all hated me, said I was spreading my white germs everywhere and tried to demand that I sanitize the showers after each use because they didn't want my germs on the floor. It got so bad that for the only time in my college career, I had my parents intervene on my behalf. My dad threatened to get a lawyer if they didn't allow me to move rooms, and mid-semester I got reassigned to a new dorm. The girls all sang and cheered as I moved out, saying that the plague was now gone. I didn't get what was going on, and I later learned the concept of reverse racism.

Mind you that at this time, I hardly spent what little free time I had at the apartment as I was mostly working at the newspaper and was in the band during this time.

The next roommate I had, however, was wonderful. She was a Japanese girl who was really sweet and gave me my first introduction to Japanese culture. It's because of her that I became really good about keeping my dorm room neat and started taking off my shoes indoors. She went back to Japan in the middle of the spring semester, so I had the room for the rest of the year to myself. It was because of her, and my interest in anime and manga, that I began taking Japanese that fall.

[brendala.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's insane that it took a threat of legal action to get you out of that dorm! :(

It's really sweet that your second roommate worked out so well. I guess I was very lucky that my dorm experience wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be (my roommate was one of the few girls in the building who didn't come home drunk at 2am and bring boys into the room without warning).