brendala | Sometimes it sucks to be right

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Sometimes it sucks to be right

When I was returning from San Francisco back in April, I got in a HUGE fight with my sister and her friend, Kay. Kay was the driver (we were using her car) and she had a terrible habit of constantly texting while she was driving. Worst of all, she has one of those internet phones that allows her to check her Facebook (she did that while driving, too! O_o). I kept asking her nicely to stop doing it and, after the fifth or sixth time I asked, she snapped at me and said...

Kay: "Look, Brenda. I don't want to be mean. But this is MY CAR and I don't appreciate you telling me how to drive! I text and drive all the time and I've never had an accident. It's no big deal!"

Me: "You've been texting non stop for nearly two hours. Can't those messages wait until we get back home?"

Kay: "I've been away for four days and I have to catch up with a lot of people!!"

Me: "If you absolutely MUST send a million text messages right now, why not let someone else drive?"

After that, Kay and my sister ragged on me for having the audacity to question Kay's driving (apparently, being the driver=being above criticism). And, once we got home, both of my sisters (the one in the car with me is 23, the other is a teenager) and one of my other sister's teenage friends echoed the "texting is no big deal" line. They even accused me of "acting like an old lady" because I got on Kay's case! I told them that I was just being sensible and that it was only a matter of time before Kay had an accident.

Well, a few days ago, Kay had a car accident.

Thankfully, nobody was hurt. She rear-ended another car; but there wasn't much damage and her car can be fixed. She claims the accident happened because she was tired. But I think she lied because texting is illegal and her parents might have smashed her phone and if they knew her texting habits.
I really hope this will wake up Kay and make her realize that text messages and Facebook can wait until she stops the car. If she gives up texting behind the wheel, my sister is sure to follow.

I hate to sound like an after school special. But I really hope that, if any of you reading this are in the habit of texting while driving, you'll stop. And if you don't do it but you know someone who does; please be a nag and tell them it's a BAD idea. They probably won't listen (ESPECIALLY if they're stupid f#$king teenagers); but it's worth a shot.
/gets off soapbox

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Sometimes I'm amazed some teenagers even live to adulthood. That's just stupid to text while driving! It was made illegal in many states for good reason, and honestly, I think you would be doing that girl a great service if you let her parents know about her driving habits. Having someone angry but alive at you is better than having someone dead on you. She and others influenced like her need to have someone willing to do what it takes to get them to wake up before something much more tragic happens.

My 23-year-old sister and I didn't speak for days after that fight. I own a car and I told her that I didn't want her driving it if she had that kind of attitude about texting (not just because its dangerous; but also because I spent 3 years earning the money to buy my car and it's my baby ~_^).
Sometimes I have to let her use it because my mother needs her car. My sister swears that she respects my wishes and doesn't text while driving my baby. But I don't believe her. :(

Sometimes I'm amazed some teenagers even live to adulthood. That's just stupid to text while driving!

I know! When we got home from that drive, I fully expected my other sister and her friend to see things my way (for God's sake, she was checking FACEBOOK while behind the wheel!!). But the teenage friend just said, "I text and drive, too! It's OK if you're a good driver!"

...*sigh* I'm a good driver. But I've had many close calls because someone suddenly pulled out in front of me. Or because the driver in front of me slammed on his brakes. Or because a kid ran into the street without looking. All of those things happened in a second! And I can't bear to imagine what may have happened if I had been distracted by my phone at any of those times.

The thing that bothers me the most is the apparent lack of empathy on the part of the pro-texters. The main reason I don't use my cell in the car isn't the law or fear for my own safety. It's the fear that I might kill another person because of a damn phone call and have to live with the guilt for the rest of my life. I don't know about you; but I could never live with myself if my irresponsibility caused an accident that ruined or ended another person's life.

Considering the fact I should be dead right now for rear-ending a semi a few years ago, I very well understand how important it is to be aware when out driving. (I believe I would definitely be dead now if I had been distracted while driving that night.) It's one thing to be foolish enough and lose your own life through your actions, I would be devastated and very possibly never ever want to get behind the wheel again if my negligence killed someone.

Oh gosh! That semi story sounds scary! I hope the accident wasn't too bad.

I had a close call with a semi just a few days ago. The driver nearly plowed into me from the side because he tried to change lanes and I guess he didn't see my itty-bitty car.

I have to poke in and say to their response...just because you're a good driver does not mean everyone else is. If someone does something they shouldn't, you can generally compensate for it (generally!) if you're a good driver. However, not when you're texting because you don't have that warning because your focus was elsewhere.

You know what? If you're in the car you have a right to make a comment and request that your saftey be considered. My sister is...30 something, 37, I think. I am 25. I tell her all the time to stop texting while driving when I and HER CHILDREN are in the car, its unsafe. A lot of the time, I tell her if its important, I'll type it for her while she drives.

Thankfully, now my town and her town/township have outlawed cell phones while driving so its no concern for me. But, they just did that this week.

You know what? If you're in the car you have a right to make a comment and request that your saftey be considered.

Believe it or not, my sister and Kay insist that the driver's personal comfort is the most important thing. And if the driver needs to see her texts to be comfortable, then the passengers should respect that.
...yeah, I can't believe they haven't caused more accidents either. -_-

My sister is...30 something, 37, I think. I am 25. I tell her all the time to stop texting while driving when I and HER CHILDREN are in the car, its unsafe. A lot of the time, I tell her if its important, I'll type it for her while she drives.

My mother is in her fifties and I had to yell at her a few times before she gave up texting while driving. But at least, before she quit, she acknowledged that its a terrible habit.

*sigh* I will never understand how people think they can multitask while driving. YOU CAN'T! Thankfully, my province just make a law that you can't talk on a cell and drive at the same time. I don't know how effective it is, but it would be nice if it helped reduced the numbers.

(Oprah has been really trying to get people to stop texting while driving. She even did a whole episode on it and I think it's still up on her website. She left it there for people to watch and wise up. Maybe the show would scare your sister into stop texting while driving. XP)

Thankfully, my province just make a law that you can't talk on a cell and drive at the same time. I don't know how effective it is, but it would be nice if it helped reduced the numbers.

Speaking of cell phone laws; back when California first passed a 'don't talk on the phone while driving' law, they forgot to include texting in that ban. So a lot of people thought "oh, talking is illegal but texting isn't. So I'll just text instead!". So the law had to be quickly amended to included texting because tons of idiots started texting on the road and causing accidents.
...it's way too easy for stupid people to get a damn drivers license. :(

(Oprah has been really trying to get people to stop texting while driving. She even did a whole episode on it and I think it's still up on her website. She left it there for people to watch and wise up. Maybe the show would scare your sister into stop texting while driving. XP)

When my mother and I (mom was on my side when I got home) told my sister how stupid her opinions on texting are; she accused us of only hating texting-while-driving because Oprah told us to. :P

I'd like to believe that Kay's accident was a wake up call. But I'm pretty sure my sister believes that Kay only rear-ended that car because she was tired.

Seesh. Teenagers. What the hell is so important that texting can't wait. Yeah, you're 23, i'm sure you have a full agenda and you're the most important person ever. She was probably just doing back and forths to a specific person.

I know! She was acting as if she was cut off from civilization the whole time we were in San Francisco! I assure you, cell phones and internet work just fine in that city.

I fully support you on this one. The only thing I can't stand are the anti-texting laws. They empower policing over privacy.

I think that if you're texting while driving and have a wreck, it ought to be your fault and there should be stiff penalties.

I get what you're saying. I've heard Libertarians make the "don't outlaw texting, just mandate stiff fines/punishments for texters who cause accidents" argument. But I personally don't think the anti-texting laws fall into the same intrusive Nanny State category as, say, taxing soda and banning excess salt.

Too many people have the "I'm a good driver. I can text and pay attention to the road" mentality as it is. If texting while driving was only punished when an accident happened; it would only make those attitudes worse. For many people I know, fear of getting a ticket is the ONLY thing that stops them from using their phone in the car.

Also, texters can avoid the fine and just lie about what caused the accident if no one actually saw them holding their phone (like I suspect Kay did).

I think it IS Nanny-state. This is just another excuse to pull a vehicle over and harass an otherwise law-abiding citizen.

In your sister's case, if she lied, her conscious will eventually bother her; if not, it's between her and God.

If she kills someone next-time, she'll have plenty to think about as she rots in her jail cell. The we can talk about her being a "good driver."

The problem with that argument is that it assumes driving is a RIGHT. It's not a right, it's a PRIVILEGE.
A 21-year-old who legally obtained a drivers license has every "right" to drink alcohol. He also has every "right" to drive his car. But if he does both of those things at the same time and gets caught, he can lose his license even if he doesn't cause an accident. However, according to extreme libertarian logic, a cop shouldn't legally be able to pull over someone who is chugging a can of beer while driving if that person isn't swerving or crashing into anyone. That's ridiculous.

Like people who text behind the wheel, many drunks believe that driving while "buzzed" is no big deal because they've managed to do it many times before. And the only thing that might make them think twice about doing it is the fact that its illegal. If the law only punished those people AFTER they hurt someone, than that's just too little too late.

But from a perspective of what government should do vs. what it shouldn't do, should the government be involved in preventing future crime al la Minority Report?

I can see both sides of the argument. I'm not one of those Libertarians that sides with whatever the Libertarian movement is doing; in fact, I often describe myself as a Conservative. (Though I'm starting to hear the debate more often that Libertarianism is what Conservatism used to be, so go figure.)

It's one thing to take preventative measures (i.e. metal detectors–but don't for a moment think that I'm in favor of the TSA's asinine polices). It's something else entirely to punish someone for a future crime.

If texting-while-driving was such an issue, the government would mandate that vehicles have jammers installed so that your phone can't get signal while the vehicle is turned on.

You're absolutely right. Aren't there laws against using one's phine while driving?

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Sometimes it sucks to be right

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